You have heard “nature abhors a vacuum”. It means that you cannot remove something, like a disempowering pattern (a habit), without replacing it with something else. Everything we do is about avoiding pain or pursuing pleasure, that’s how the brain works. With any addictive behavior the individual is doing both simultaneously which highly enforces the addiction. To make a change we have to break the existing association to pleasure made by the brain. I love that expression “kick the habit”, what a great metaphor.
Many, many years ago I had an affinity for cigars. I smoked cigars every day. I enjoyed the taste, the smell, the illusion of relaxation. But they started to interfere with other aspects of my life, my kids started saying things about my smoking. I used that along with imagery of cancer, smelly clothes, and $10 bills going up in smoke (literally) to leverage pain to interrupt the pattern. I asked God to not let me do it. That simple little daily ask has many, many years later prevented cigar smoking in places like Puerto Rico, Costa Rico, Grand Cayman the latter of which had true Cubans, which were truly tempting.
And lead us not into temptation… a very powerful little bit of a prayer.
You are reading these blogs because 29 years ago today, May 5 1992, my newborn son died in my arms just a few hours after being born. That really, really messed me up for a long while. It was a pattern that gripped me to my soul. When I had had enough of the pain I sought out a coach. I saw the light. I beat the PTSD. And after thousands of hours of training I went pro with coaching. There is absolutely no part of my life that does not use the empowering techniques that I have learned and teach to my clients. I am a Torch Bearer. I shed that cloak of darkness.
